coming up bright

April 11th, 2005

spent the weekend up north, cool but spectacularly sunny. that’s how I feel today, spectacularly sunny. I have a really great plan for the sewing room (a sophisticated, zen like space) that I can implement easily without feeling guilty about it not being able to be a nursery eventually.

I’m INSPIRED and exhilirated. Once I get this done, it’ll be a creative space to express – annie’s formals, my sewing, my beading, my inspiration.

failed

April 7th, 2005

well the iui failed. sigh. 8 day LP too. Rosemary said they’re scheduling me for another consult to discuss our options and develop a new game plan. I’ve been depressed for three days, I can’t imagine doing this for months. It just kills me every time! I had the big sob-fest and Ambien induced 4 hour sleep on Monday. No sleep tuesday either. Finally last night, with Ambien I got to sleep and was able to sleep the whole night.

I beaded a necklace for Rebecca and for myself. Very pretty glass beads, bought at a new (to me) bead store on the west side. I’ve gotten back into beading (something I haven’t done since I was a kid) and it’s working out really well, actually. Fast, satisfying projects that make me feel good. She’ll love it, it matches with her outfit and to me feels like a margarita (which is what she wants).

I don’t know that I’ll ever have a nursery but I should (darn well) have a great sewing room when I’m done with the Organize It class. My desk at work looks just as hideous too. I’m trying to have faith. A baby won’t solve all my problems either, so I know I’m not altogether normal yet.