babywearing clothing

I’ve entered a new world. They have coats, ponchos and such for wearing your baby. A poncho with a zipper up top would be perfect for carrying E. Her little head sticks out the opening! And then there are slings, diaper bags, nursing tops, kiddie clothes…

today I cut the wrap dress (raspberry, actually) sewing it will be a major achievement. I’m very happy. I have energy despite not sleeping as well as I used to, and I’m enthused about sewing again.  It’s amazing how much the last four years sucked out of me, and to know it’s back and I’m back, well, it’s great.

I can look in the sling right now and see cute little baby feet, all cozy and warm. It’s just beyond amazing having her. I can’t believe I ever wondered if I wanted children or not. It’s late and I should be off to bed, but I’m waiting for my hand wash to be done so I can hang up the clothes before bed.

It’s time to think about travel clothing again. I have to find the post where I had the ideas for, say, walking in London (though it may be amsterdam or berlin). Because that’s how I want this next trip to go. Chic and happy. mom and baby attached.

Measure twice

So I brought up the B&W knit to make the dress…and realized with the doubled bodice, I do not have enough of this fabric.But I do of the burgundy so I’ll make the CJ wrap dress from that. This B&W cries out to be a dress though, I believe i have a Vogue Elements empire wrap dress that will work (a-line, not full skirt should save some fabric too). Bummer.Oh well, if I take advantage of E’s naptimes this week and don’t work too much, I can get in a bit of sewing time. She’s asleep, I’m online, and it’s a cool but beautiful day. Mom took a bunch of little videos of E. so we need (or I need) to also post all that online this week.

I bought some diva-licious shades at Meijer this week with my coupon (and underwear, how exciting!) But as I’d just plunked down over a hundred bucks on four nursing tops also this week, I decided that it was better to save my money and buy only things I needed.

While E. sleeps I’ll catch up on the paper and some more knitting of the Endless Misto Wrap. I also lurked at burdastyle and hopefully will get to a pattern there. I like a couple of things, but not many are suited for nursing. Creativity, it’s all about that. Tops work, if I’m willing to make a double layer.

So, next time measure fabric before deciding on a pattern, and mark the rolls of fabric so I know what I have. I have decided on using the green ombre stretchy fabric for the tube top and part of the Key Lime linen for the Sugar Babe jacket. Pants will be black washed linen.That’s next up after the black and white dress. Hmm. this seems capsule-like of me

Momhood is way better than pregnancy

Don’t get me wrong, I loved, LOVED being pregnant. Feeling her inside of me, kicking, growing. But I love being a mother far, far more. Today, a big shift. Walking Zuzu, E. in the sling, I felt tiny fingers against my belly and realized that she was hanging on to my shirt with her hand. That felt so amazing, so unbelivable that it was a real, live baby hand, and not unborn, that I stopped in my tracks. I looked down, she was lightly awake, and I said, E. this is way better than pregnancy.

Today I suffered a full length mirror (unclothed) to try on some tops and a dress. Bought three tops, and a dress. The jugs are va, va, va voom for sure. I bought a top that would have hung on me – deep vee wrap, asymmetrical hem in a leopard print, but instead it made me look small waisted and voluptuous. I also bought a denim top that could be worn as a jacket, with interesting smocking on deep wrist cuffs and at the waistline. I’m thinking what Stacy and Clinton would say as I buy clothes now.

I’m not happy with the way my body looks, yet I love the bbs for what they do, but I’m just not used to the size of them yet. And I so rarely see myself in a mirror either. But the M&Ms have got to go.

And I need to sew. Tops that can accomodate – and accentuate – this new bustline. Jackets that fit. And not look either oversized on me, show my bra, or otherwise compromise my stylishness. I feel, well, just about how I’d imagined I’d feel after having my daughter. Amazing. Flat out amazing.

good ideas

I met up with the moms group from yoga. It’s fun to be with other moms, with babies the same age, and starting new friendships. I can feel that silly shyness that makes me come off as aloof, but I am trying. The girls were shocked by my age, I’m very glad I look young.

later on, after work was done, I downloaded another Bstyle pattern, got a great idea for a nursing dress – a standard wrap dress with a mini tube top up top. You lift the tube top, and slide the wrap back, voila, a regular dress becomes nursing dress. Good, that had me scratching my head. I did download the Bstyle dress, cute, t-shirt capsleeve with drawstring, but no nursing access, so that’s one for another year. It’s time for Miss E to eat, but I have to go get dog food, and waiting for G. to be done with the yard work. Dog park friends coming over at six thirty or so, while I nurse, G will host. We’ll eat later.

What I want to do is some sewing, maybe Miss E will be less fussy and I can get to it, otherwise, I think reading is on my agenda tonight. I’m borrowing a sling from a mom in the group, as I think that’s the route I want to go. Still no sign of mine from the recall, and I am losing hope. If Miss E. likes it, I’ll make myself a couple.

Tiny fingers flitter against my tummy. She’s holding on to the inner rail. Boy, I’m so amazed, I’m the luckiest mom in the world. I’m a mom. That, to me, is amazing.

tori

Last March, I posted that as Tori sings, I infuse. And I was full of hope that the coming weeks would yield a pregnancy. Today, the first time I’ve listened to that album in a year, my daughter is in the baby swing not two feet from me. And I just can hardly believe it. Pinch me.

va-va-va-voom

I’m in black yoga pants, a tight fitting blue tank and a lavender dance sweater. And one look in the mirror definitely shows a post preg body. Big bbs, a round belly, some fleshiness around the waist and thighs. Not the svelte person I was before, but not unattractive for what I’ve done recently! And I’ll get there – but for the next year, it’s gonna be D-cup fashions for me. FBA here I come.

It smells like baby in here

Yesterday the doc’s office called “is this E’s mother?” “Yes,” i replied. I am somebody’s mother. I can’t believe it. Pinch me.

When she’s asleep in the sling on my lap (thank god for babywearing!) and I’m doing my job at my desk, I barely think about her. I’m knee deep in some code or writing a proposal or something. I took her in to change her, and she was warm and sleepy coming out of the sling. It made my heart skip a beat. This warm, sleepy, squirmy beautiful baby is MINE. Mine. I made this!

I did everything just short of (I was going to say prostituting myself, but hey, some would argue Mr. Ultrasound Wand was my pimp) suicide to get here. I took crazy meds (vaginal v*agra, who knew!), had my monthly IV of other people’s antibodies, injected myself daily, got poked by acupuncture needles, lit candles for Mary, drank weird TCM ‘teas’, had my cervix sewn shut (with TWO stitches, they normally use one) and then, miracle of miracles, gave birth to E without drugs, but with a lot of yelling. (more pushing, less vocaliazation said my delivery doc).
But I don’t care about any of this. i am all too glad to close the door on the last four years, and devote my energy to my baby daughter. I can’t believe she’s here. She’s mine. How did I get so lucky?

Her dad poked his head in the sling last night to check on her (side by side in our office, we trade – E in the sling with me by day, in the sling with him by night) and said “it smells like baby in here”. Indeed. that warm, milky, diapery smell. Just like the nursery at 3am when I went in to feed E. on her break from the bright bili lights “it smells like baby in here.”

time to sew

i was a bit stressed. Second day at ‘work’ and feeling like I’ve bitten off more than i can chew. And further, not knowing how I’ll ever find time to do the things I liked to as well. New on the ‘love to do’ thing is that I want to spend time playing with E. So if I can get up about 8 with G. and spend that time interacting with the baby. Work the late morning when she sleeps, sew just after lunch, work again in PM, nap before dinner. Spend less time on forums (but I did find a fun new one, sewingmamas.com)

I used to while away the hours at FF, then blogs, then less so in forums, and now I’m rarely online. Times change.