what we focus on…
…grows
So if we focus on a problem, we see….more problems. If we focus on good outcomes, on ease, on abundance, we get that.
Let’s see – focusing on a new business. Making my own money (and more of it). Doing my creative projects. Volunteering. Spending time with my children. Rebalancing.
So let’s do this one just for fun, shall we?
In the morning of my ‘new upcoming life’, I get up, have decided today we are all going to the library for a special event before day care/preschool/work. Get ourselves all dressed up in appropriately cute clothing (or as my 3yo said this morn, ‘mama are these shoes appopiate?’) (the shoes, they were not). This means mama is probably in something I sewed myself, some dynamo of an outfit that makes me feel capable, productive and stylish.
My children, same. Except maybe it doesn’t match quite the way I would. But that’s OK, to each her own creativity.
Then, we head off to the library/event/whatever. We go to day care/preschool, and mama goes to her office (yes, I still have the office, where other nice companies share the other suites). I help a half dozen clients realize their business goals. I contact four or five who need to and then I write a helpful tip on the blog (or social media). I take fifteen minutes to focus ON my business, not IN it, and I head home early to work on some creative project for the side businesses. Hubby takes the kids home. We do something fun (play in the park, a craft night, game night, language night) and then go to bed. I spend quiet time working on a project and chilling with hubby after everyone’s asleep.
This is a pretty good day. I’m efficient, I make money, I spend time in my value areas of my life and I have balance.
Filed under Everyday Life | Comment (0)in another life
This isn’t a WWYLLLI post, but I’ll post it under that category anyway, since it fits. It’s really a longing for something I don’t have and maybe did want.
Today I’m sitting on the big exercise ball bouncing my six week old son (wrapped up in a carrier on my chest) and looking at a sewing pattern. In the instructions for this cap-sleeved, A-line nursing dress or tunic, I’m reading “includes a special section for alterations for use in pregnancy” and I have a longing moment for more children that is almost palpable. I can’t tell my husband this. Truly that time is over. I’ll be 41 in two months. We have a 4 bedroom house that’s full (especially if I work from home). But I think of another life – in which I chose to have children – and was able to – at, say 30, and had, say 3 or 4 children (!) The life of a crafty, fashionista, stay-at-home-and-homeschool mother. Maybe part time designer (yes, probably), definitely craftista business owner. Having more children. I know, I know, I can barely care for myself right now, let alone a third or fourth child.
And I should not be thinking this at all. That’s why it’s here, to just get the thoughts out there, to just express them so they don’t haunt me. Yes, I was warned, by friends, by my grandmother Aimee (my grandmother Ann said “never have children, they’ll make you miserable”), by my cousins. But, you know I have made my own choices and have been glad of them.
There are lots of reasons why this doesn’t work – for instance, travel to Europe would probably be out. The bike trip across France would be out. Montessori, scratch that. Heck, even affording college (and retirement) would be challenging. And I do love to work. I love my clients.
So how do I carve out sort of this life right now. First off, I can’t work full time again. Not right now. This has slowly been the dynamic that’s been changing in my life. God said, okay, I’ll give you another child. And then he said, okay, I’ll make it easy, your partners want to leave the business. I’ll give you a sucky year that you’ll reconsider your work life. And then he is saying “okay, now it’s time, I’ve shown you this path, it’s time for you to take heed of these things I’m sending and do them”. So I take this morning’s feelings, the strong, overpowering feelings that my life must change and I must try to do them in some form or another.
I need to start articulating what that looks like so I may manifest it in my life. But it’s still fuzzy around the edges a bit, and I have to work on that vision a bit more.
Filed under The Nursing Fashionista, wwyllli | Comment (0)looking back
I spent a few minutes looking back at the posts I wrote just before and just after finding out I was pregnant with Christian, and am amazed this process happened! I mean, what are the odds! It’s really been a joyful experience (colicky, cranky 1 month old, nonwithstanding). From pregnancy to the babymoon at home with newborn, it’s been such a journey.
I think I’m ready to just be a mama and not be an expectant mama anymore. I’ve finally gotten him quiet and secure in the Ergo (infant insert) and now I’m off to see about that pile of laundry I’ve been slowly poking at for about two hours. We slept in today so I don’t need a nap, but I do need to get some things done. Laundry, for one. Prepping a pattern, for two.
It’s been everything I wanted from the beginning – joyful, full term, happy pregnancy. A beautiful, intense, fast birth with the gentle nurturing of baby following, just like I wanted him to have. Coming home after just a day and a half. Settling in to a quiet routine just the two of us (during the day and at night at least). Now I’m able to get out – and am doing a little bit each day to see friends, schedule appointments and run errands. I’m getting ready to sew again.
Looking ahead? Not quite ready for that today….
Filed under Everyday Life | Comment (0)Saying good bye to maternity
I am packing up all the maternity things I borrowed. I’m pretty much back into my larger clothes now, and I have enough of my own maternity if needed to suffice for a few more weeks. It’s sad to see it go. I know I won’t do this again. Friends think otherwise, (and truth be told, I have not packed up my own things yet) but I am fairly sure it would be foolish to try. There are many reasons – besides being on the downhill slope to 41 – that we should stick with two kids. College expense. Being outnumbered. The sheer difficulty of having multiple children. Labor and delivery.
Filed under Everyday Life | Comment (0)sprucing up
I am going to work on some small projects – fixing our comforter and making some matching shams, pillows for outdoor chairs (maybe even slipcovers, too), napkins, digging out some things we already have like candles and other outdoor decor. It’s time to use up the things I have and be creative with the stuff I already own.
Along with that, relishing my last weeks of full time maternity leave (part time leave is still going thru September at least).
Filed under Everyday Life | Comment (0)