What price?

January 31st, 2012

It’s 9:09pm. I worked til 5:15pm (stopping at the bank, back to my office for my laptop), picked up kids, drove to the post office, drove almost home, realized I had forgotten to send an ad for a client to a magazine (on deadline). Called hubby, drove 20 min to his office, waited 10 minutes, traded cars (and kids), drove to my office, posted ad, locked up, drove home. Ate dinner at 7:15pm, bathed toddler, put him down to bed (nursing to sleep!) at 8pm, tucked him in bed with his sister at 830pm, kissed her goodnight. Did the dishes (not done, but the first load is in) washed a load of laundry, folded clean cloth diapers, put them away, and will fold another load before taking all the laundry from last week  upstairs. Tomorrow, we have a babysitter coming so we can work from 6-9pm on Billing Wednesday – billing for my small business.

Whew. Last night I did much the same, only I also did a 1 – 1/2 hour webinar for some sewing software. Tonight I even considered making cappucino and sewing the upcycled man’s sweater to capelet with faux fur collar! But discretion is the better part of valor, and I feel a cold coming on (both kids have been sick). I took vitamins, am drinking some tea and resting now.

I wonder what drives me – and so many other working mothers – like this. Granted, many of them are not on five (FIVE) boards of directors of various charity and community organizations, most of them do not sew their own clothes, or their children’s. Comparison steals joy, and I’m not going to go there – even though that’s probably what’s driving me.

The very long version of this post – I am getting there – is at what price is all of this worth it? I make less now than I did ten years ago – though admittedly much more than I did two years ago. I work my tail off. Clients pay slowly. We try to bill them as little as we can, out of consideration of their businesses, too.

Could we live on less? Much less? Work much less? Spend more time with my kids? I think there’s this idea that I have to grow, grow, grow this business, when maybe that is not the answer. Yes, I have staff, but they can do more, and I could do less!

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