July 4th, 2007

I’m a forty-something mother of a miracle daughter and soon-to-be-miracle son. I started this blog in the winter of 2004, after I miscarried following a year of struggling with fertility problems. I went on to miscarry three more times – after saying “I’ll never go through another miscarriage” at least twice. Along the way, I lost friends, made friends, met the most amazing medical professionals, tossed out my theory that I was in control of my life, embraced the theory that God has ordained all of these days for me, and discovered that you CAN heal from the loss of a baby.

This began as a journal, so it reads like it. I don’t link to it, I don’t use tags, I want Google to stay out of my business. It’s a tool for me to unload the bricks of frustration, to capture joy like fireflies in a jar, and to dwell on the sometimes mundane but silly aspects of life.

It’s called paradise because I used to own a business of the same name, and I spent many years dreaming of living in it, only to get there to discover we’d paved it over and the traffic was bad. But I lingered in paradise for six years – some of the best years of my life – before returning to my home state in the midwest. Still Paradise. Just a slightly different version of it.