and we welcome our son….

Sunday’s post was prophetic. Sunday evening at 10pm, I was working through one of the weekend’s contractions (not too hard but needing to concentrate) on E’s bedroom floor, hands & knees when I felt a big POP and a very strong contraction. So strong I was sure I would not be able to crawl out of her room to the office where G. was watching the Canadian Grand Prix on the computer. I called for him twice and then felt my amniotic fluid leaking.

Contractions started right up about 3 minutes apart, and G. got E. over to the neighbors in time to load the car. I labored downstairs, over a beach towel, and he loaded me in the well-toweled back seat of the Subaru.

They continued about 3 minutes apart til we got to the hospital. Then, in OB triage, when the nurses were asking me for my ID and to sign stuff (my purse was, alas, at home), I was on my hands & knees in the door way and G. was saying “we don’t have time for all this”. They got me into a triage room, the resident checked and said “she’s complete!” and all of sudden, there was this flurry of people and activity: “She’s complete!” They wheeled me down right in the bed, asking “are you feeling pushy?” and I was not at that moment.

But soon, a few contractions later, I was. I struggled to get in the right position, which seemed to be hands & knees but up, on the back of the lifted bed. I tried turning around to the standard classic push position, but G. could see, and I could feel this wasn’t working. The resident asked me to lay on my back (!!) but we knew better. So G. got me back facing the back of the bed. I was, as usual, howling, not pushing, but once I got the hang of the contraction (wait until it starts to peak THEN start pushing) it went smoother. I could FEEL his body moving down in me. Then, the pain just got intense, wouldn’t let up even in between contractions (which were a not-very-comfortable two and a half minutes apart). It was so, so hard. I was crying “why won’t he come out? what’s wrong?” But soon, I could feel his head crowning (let’s not discuss the messy, except to say labor is messy, and the staff knows how to handle it). And then, last push, very painful but I knew he was coming out. A pop, a slip and he was out!

They were great – they got me turned over and the bedding cleaned up a bit and laid him on my chest, let him nurse while still connected to the cord. Eventually the cord stopped pulsing and they let me cut it. My son! You’re on your own now (sorta!)

We got everything we wanted – two hours of bonding and nursing, weighing and measuring and such at the end. All his baby care in the room, not the nursery. It was delightful!

Both OBs stopped by, cheered for me having birthed without anesthesia, commended me on a good birthing position (Drs. both said that most of their natural patients birth in that position).

It was, amazing. Intense, fast, incredibly painful, but amazing. And now, looking a lot like E. as a newborn, is sleeping in a bouncy seat next to me. My son. Our son. We did it!

Christian Robert Siegle

7lbs 12 oz. 11:57pm 6/13/10

We did it, my boy, 39 weeks exactly, a beautiful pregnancy that you gave to me. It was my gift to nurture you and I am sad it’s over, but I’m ready to move on, and YOU are the prize. I don’t think anyone but a mother or father can understand a parent’s love. I am blown away how I can love TWO children this much.

Wee bit emotional today

I’m a wee bit emotional. I know this beautiful time is coming to an end, and realistically, I should not be having another baby at 42 or 44 years old. So this is it. And we’d have two, a daughter, a son, a family that fits us. Oh, but this is SO wonderful. I must take many moments today to just simply relish in this child in my womb. I’m watching babywearing instructional DVDs, buying nursing patterns, thinking about maternity leave and relishing the joy that is this time. But it’s a little bittersweet. Last time I thought it might have to be the end, but in my heart, I knew I’d have another. This time? my heart tells me this should be the last. But I’m not closing the door! (silly, silly girl). My family is now home from their jaunt to get milk and eggs, so I’ve got to go.

Waiting for baby

Boy, this is at once amazing and crazy.  A year ago, almost, G. lost his job. And we thought we’d never get this house. But I had a vision of the future – and  it involved me, pregnant, at this house, walking down the deck stairs to a burgeoning garden. Indeed, I did just that, tonight, on a hot night, to clip lettuce leaves for our dinner salad. I’m waiting. I’m both sad pregnancy is ending, and glad a new phase is beginning. Glad to be starting my motherhood life again with a newborn. But still, sad. Pregnancy is such a special time in life. It’s been so joyful (yes, the first few months were hard, but the rest have been beautiful). I don’t know how long I have – I think maybe the better part of several days. I don’t think it will be this weekend – and he may surprise all of us and go to our due date, next Sunday, Father’s Day.

Yes, not everything is done (not even close!) but neither does it seem urgent. I mainly want to get the laundry put away tomorrow, and move my computer downstairs for the summer. Organize my nursing tops (the ones that I have that my friend M. has not borrowed.) Wait for baby. I have contractions on and off but they are not regularly spaced yet, so I think my body is just getting ready, but not yet there. Definitely more these last few days than earlier in the week. It’ll be soon but not THAT soon, I think.

It has been SUCH a lovely journey, this pregnancy. I have so loved it and have felt so blessed to have done this again. A son is on the way. We are so incredibly fortunate, for all that we have and all that we can do.

Yay! I made it to my appt on week 37

Yippee! I felt on top of the world for having made it to the 37th week – AND my ‘next week’s appointment’ after the cerclage!

Bonus weeks coming! I so need to relish this time. I am torn between focusing on my future and focusing on now, and I think it needs to be the now.

I’ve done this post before

Seems to me I’ve done this post before. My cerclage was removed today, doc set my appt at a week but said “probably not”. As in, I’ll deliver before then. So we’re prepping. I won’t get everything done (not even close) but I’ll get the most important things done, and that’s really the key thing. I’m off to take it easy tonight, after last night’s contraction-fest.

Stay, baby, stay. Just two weeks more. At least.

My most important job

I’m about to embark on my second phase of my most important job. If someone would have said, ten years ago, that I would consider this my most important job in the world, I’d have never believed them. Yes, my business is important, but I will have many clients – and my business will change vastly over the course of my career. But my work as a mother is paramount.

It’s thankless. Respectless, often, but never rewardless. It was impossible for me to imagine all of this. But I like the direction we’re going in.

I have just a few weeks left of pregnancy, but I’m relishing every moment.

Loving these last weeks

Yes, it’s hard to get off the floor, and I am out of breath sometimes walking up stairs (not always) but I am relishing these last weeks. So special. I’m getting my full 40 weeks, I think.

It’s a little bit bittersweet, this time of my pregnancy. Knowing, realistically, this must be the last.

I was stopped by a woman in a cafe in Old Town who said “I must tell you, you look so full of life!” and indeed, that’s true, and I do feel that way. Pregnancy – despite the high risk nature – is good for me. It’s a good thing we did this again. I’m really soaking it up.

But it will end, and in some ways I am ready to get back to my old self. Not trying to rush things, either. Like I said, its bittersweet. I want to move on, I want to stay put. I want to savor, I want to meet our son. I am so incredibly blessed, so grateful for this that it makes my heart just want to burst.

inspired by friends

So I’ve got these crafty friends, with their crafty blog and I’m inspired. Way inspired. I have to move this fashion/design/craft agenda ahead. Now they’re a bit on the super crafty (wreaths, etc.) idea than I am, I’m much more fashionista than craftista, but I love their mindset and the things they create (and their beautiful construction and craft of their items).

I know, I know, I have weeks ahead where I will not know what day it is, what time it is, when I ate last and be bleary eyed from two hours of sleep (maybe). But once that settles down and I figure out how to take care of a newborn – and another child – again, I will rebound. And there are SO many possibilities right now! I agreed to speak at a business FastTrac session about marketing next week (yes, indeed!) – it’s just a half hour, no prepwork really needed, and will be a fun, and good contact to maintain.

I also agreed to go to an evening session with the Arbonne folks to talk about biz development without parties and shows, something I’d like to explore. That’s Monday night. So populating my head with ever more ideas this weekend. Seeing two clients, and moving my agenda ahead, even if only in my head today.

I’m at home, sick, but resting. And I’m off to do some more of that right now.

Things are changing

As I’m about to have this baby in just a few short weeks (five til my due date!) I am changing things. Finally. And what I want more than anything is time for my children, time to pursue the things – volunteer, handbag design, sewing and knitting – that make me truly happy. So that’s likely going to be for some time a part-time schedule.

I was inspired by this pattern reviewer’s review (and she’s a contest winner too!) She took interesting tops, with fabric from stash and crafted a great, hip, casual wardrobe. From her blog, I can see that she’s a prolific knitter too. I am taking up knitting again after the baby’s born – knitting can be a good thing to pick up and put down as I nurse a babe in the sling.

I think I can make more money working part time than full time (as a percentage of time-to-income ratio) and I am sure I want to spend more time with my children. Time to, say go to story time or nature time, or the zoo, or the museum, or take a language class or two with them. That’s truly what I want.

Restless

Lately I have this boundless energy. I know this is perfectly normal – I’m supposed to get things done, feather my nest and get ready to be really tired and overworked the next several months. But I do feel this need to use this time to advance some of my agendae.

And of course, I need to savor. So, in fairly short order tomorrow night, I’m having hubby do pregnancy photos of me/us.  I need to calm myself and take a few minutes (30) every day to just contemplate these last weeks of being pregnant. This won’t come again. And it’s so easy for me to just look ahead and plan ahead, without savoring this moment.

Sunday, Mother’s Day, and our anniversary, I need to plan something special for all of us, and especially, me. Planting in our garden, I think.